Irony, Thy Name is Snow

Yes, ladies and gents, the irony is not lost on me that St. John's, Newfoundland is quite balmy, and that Vancouver and the lower mainland has been hit with what Newfoundlanders affectionately call "weather." Ah, how the tables have turned at last. It was only last week that I was taking off my sweater in order to not sweat to death waiting for my bus. Now, to be fair, it has recently become colder, and snow has started to attempt to fall. However, every time it does, the darned stuff just melts away. We can't pay it enough to stick around.

Ok, ok, let's face it...by the time the season ends we will have much more "weather" than y'all will ever get, and I accept that. It's just nice to have the reprieve once in a while, and to laugh uproariously at those people who call me and tell me about their gardens when I'm up to my ass in white stuff...and I ain't talkin' cocaine!!

In other news, I have finished my last class for the MA program here at Memorial. It's such a weird and wonderful feeling to be almost done. I still have a couple papers to procrast.....er....I mean...do, but then I'm done the course work section of the Masters degree. Then it's only the simple task of fieldwork in New Orleans and writing a thesis by the middle of next summer. No sweat...

DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN HELP ME....AAAAAAAAH.

Had the weirdest Christmas party ever! The Folklore Society (of which I am no longer president...the queen is dead, long live the queen) and Classics Society kipped together and had a joint Christmas party at the Masonic Temple, aka the Mason Hut, as one of the Classics boys is a Mason. During the party we were treated to a tour of said Mason Hut, and given a history of the building and small glimpse into the world of Masonry. All I could think of was the Simpson's spoof regarding the "Stonecutters" and kept wondering if I would suddenly freak out during the tour and start blowing my nose on some sacred artifact, thus causing a riot. Especially since it is such a male-dominated society, the thought of me being somehow "inappropriately female" was quite tempting--like ripping off my sweater and dancing around in my bra to "I'm Every Woman" or something. It was definitely an interesting tour, and the history of the building is fascinating, but not exactly the most party-ish thing I've ever done.

Well, back to the grindstone.....oh dear, the Mason's have got to me!!! Ha ha! Well, that or too much caffeine today. Wish me luck on papers and proposals! Then I get to decorate my apartment!! Weeeee!!!

Movin' On Up!

Rickin' frickin' frackin' mackin' bickin' rickin'...

Yes, much like Yosemite Sam, the cursing has started in full force. I'm moving upstairs!! Yep, in my boldest move ever--even bolder than the slightly down the block move I made in 2000--I'm moving mere feet away from my current dwelling. The apartment upstairs has opened up, and as it's a much better space with laundry, more room and an even better view of the cement, I decided to take it. However, I'm having a bit of a problem accepting that I'm moving and actually doing stuff like: packing, changing my address with various companies, ensuring that my phone will be hooked up, cleaning. In two sweet days I'm going to have one of the most disorganized moves ever!! Yah!!

Thank god for friends and classmates though. Since I'm only heading upstairs, it makes absolutely no sense to hire movers, so my peeps are gonna come and help out. It's always so weird to have someone come and move your stuff around. I mean, it's not like I'm getting them to assist in 'reburying' the bodies or help with the teardown of my porno studio or anything, but still... I'm not sure what I'm most sensitive about-my sad collection of bodice-ripper romance novels that I read when I have the flu or a cold, my full collection of Danzig and Rammstein CD's, my many half-assed attempts at paintings and models or my hand-towel-sized undies!! Oh hell, it's all of the above!!!

Regardless, they've accepted, I'll lay in some treats and soda, and we shall move!! Soon I'll be upstairs worrying about my dry-cleaning company and complaining about the zebra's and honkies downstairs. And if you don't know what that refers to, then you're either too young or too behind on your pop culture to read this blog any further.

DE-LUXE APARTMENT, HERE I COME!
Venus-in-the-sky-with-laundry-Fangs

Gay Midas

Everything he touches turns to FABULOUS!!

(Thanks Jordan!!)

Holy Cow! A Post, A Post! A Veritable Post!

Hey kiddies,

So, I do live after all. Thought I should get a post out, even a quick one, before I hit the year marker!

Second semester of my first grad year is almost over...I just have a couple more papers to write. They should, technically, be done all ready, but I received a couple of extensions. Bad, bad student! It's been a weird term, and I'll be glad when it's finally over! Then I will taste the sweet elixir of sleep again!

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...sleeeeeeeeeeeeep...

What's that computer? You want me to sleep? But I have to do my work now...

What's that? Don't worry about it? Well, okay.

Yeah, I wish. It's come to the point where a sleep-depraved delusion would be almost welcome. But no, it's just the bitter taste of reality and lots of work left to do. Ah well.

I am now officially divorced! As of April Fool's Day (there's got to be a metaphor in there somewhere...) I am a legally free woman. Felt weird but bloody fantastic. On this long road to figuring out who I am and what the hell I'm going to do with the rest of my life, it's nice to have the loose ends tied up. Now, if only I can weave those loose ends into some sort of man-catching trap all will be well.

I also won the SSHRC (Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada) award, so starting in September I'm actually getting money for school! How great is that! Apparently they have no idea what a bad student I am!

It's very cool though, as I'm also going to be doing my fieldwork in New Orleans. So in the new year I'll be heading down for 6 to 8 weeks in the Big Easy. Something tells me it's not going to be so "easy"... I keep having dreams of not being in shape, and having some gang chasing me down in order to toss me in the swamp. I really have no intentions of being "swamp-bait" so I'll have to get in shape this summer. Plus, something tells me I should be spending some quality time in the sauna and steam rooms at the school gym... It will be like Rocky preparing for his big fight, only instead of hanging out punching meat in a freezer, I'll be laying around quietly in a steam room. And instead of drinking raw eggs, I'll be practicing eating powdered doughnuts and drinking beer and iced tea. And instead of running up a huge pile of steps in the middle of town, I'll be practicing my "amble." In other words, it's not like Rocky at all. Except for the blaring "Eye of the Tiger" soundtrack which I will be playing over and over during my trip.

So, I'm off to write more stuff and such and try and keep myself actually in grad school, and prepare for a party at my old house that will not keep me in grad school. I think some of the profs are getting wise to my ineptness, but hopefully I can stave them off long enough to pass me, and then have a quick identity change in order to apply for a PhD. By that time it will be too late to do anything but give me a doctorate so I don't publish my "bribe" photos.

What? I didn't say bribe...

Gotta run!

Yours always!
VF

Master of Poo!

Well, I have started the Masters Program at Memorial University in Folklore, and I have experienced a week of pure hell! What an insane change. Masters does not appear to raise you one step in the academic ladder, but rather ten or twenty... Although, this could be because I am the laziest student in creation. Methinks my poor work habits will no longer flyeth in thine kingdom of upper academia...poo-eth.

Classes are quite wonderful, but it's been a bit hard to acclimate myself to the reading situation. I have rather poor levels of concentration (hence my sporadic entries...) and it's like pulling teeth to read through my articles and books. I'm sure I'll get used to it, but eeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

It's starting to get chilly here, and while I absolutely love autumn in St. John's, I am dreading another winter here. Yes boys and girls, another cheery season of shoveling (does that have 2 L's??) snow, slipping down hills, "James Browning" aka "Ham Stringing" in slippery halls, bundling up like a mummy to get to school and then roasting like suckling pig all day in your hot sweater. Good times never ending for months...Yeah.

I'm hoping to head home for Christmas break and see the "birth" parents and "brother" for a few weeks. Yes, yes, friends. I will try to see you too. Or at least wave at you from my speeding limousine. I know the sight of my buttery little arm, delicate hand waving to and fro, will probably keep you going for months. However, I have to survive the semester first.

And this, my wonderful freund und freundin, may be the semester that I pop my own eyeballs out with a teaspoon and then stumble blindly into the harbour. I'll float out to sea, aided by a rogue humpback who will keep me on an ice flow in the north feeding me tuna and using its blow hole to keep me dry and warm (-re: the scene in King Kong when the giant ape blows Lana Turner dry...). Come the spring I will float majestically back to St. John's on a giant iceberg, and after a tearful goodbye to my whale I will stumble back onto shore and into the arms of a brilliant eyeball-replacement surgeon. Hmmm, this could be a good semester after all.

Alright, back to work. This nose ain't gonna grind itself!

The slightly less intrepid than usual Venus Fangs.

It's Raining Pens?

It’s raining in St. John’s! How happy does this make me? Very.

It’s lovely when it rains here and there is no harsh wind or cold or snow or ice. It’s very much like Vancouver then… And yes, I get that this is very sad of me…here I am, experiencing a different culture and place, a different sense of space, and all I want to do is force it into the same package I just came from. And yet, it gives me joy and comfort, so please—cram it with walnuts, people!

The only thing about rain in St. John’s is that I no longer carry an umbrella as a regular thing. In fact, I no longer own an umbrella. Let me tell you, this thought keeps me up at nights…but it’s usually just too windy and crazy here to use one. The first time I whipped my little folding, backpack-sized, push-button controlled, black umbrella from my bag, it was promptly ripped from my hands like matches from a two-year old and hurdled mercilessly into a ditch. I went to retrieve it and as soon as I was holding it in my hands again the wind gusted so hard that it blew the prongs inside out. I admit, though it was not very environmental of me, and just plain mental, I tossed it back in the ditch, and that was the last umbrella I owned in Newfoundland.

However, without an umbrella, and without the rain-proof hoodies everyone here seems to have, it gets a might soggy. Especially when one is wearing a distinctly UNwater-proof hoodie made of fleece, such as I was wearing yesterday. I had to go from work to the tailor to pick up a pair of pants that were being repaired. I really wanted my pants back, as they are my favourite pair, so even though, as the bus carried on through the streets of St. John’s, the rain began to really sluice down I decided that nothing was going to keep me from my pants. (Yes, I am aware that was a huge run-on sentence...but I am so lazy that it makes more sense to just keep typing on then to actually use the delete key and change it...)

I got off the bus a few blocks from the tailors, and by the time I walked into the shop I was completely soaked through. My shoes, pants, sweater, etc. were saturated with water. Plus, I’d been splashed by quite a few passing cars since most people in St. John’s don’t know how to drive in the rain, and any nooks or crannies that were left somewhat undampened were now as drenched as the rest of me. We will not discuss the nooks and crannies further. Once I picked up the pants I realized that there was no use in waiting for the bus, it being a physical impossibility to get any wetter, so I walked home. It was so ridiculous that I couldn’t help chuckling a bit, so I must of looked insane to the cars driving past. This drenched maroon hoodie with a fat grinning face coming at you in the rain...it makes you shudder to think about it. No wonder they continued to splash me. They were probably saying, "Get away from me, scary drenched hoodie!" Poor things. I was so wet by the time I got home that my clothes were actually heavy on my body, so I got a nice workout as well.

And the pants are mine at last!

I finally have all the paperwork in and am registered for grad classes. I can’t believe they start in less than 2 weeks. I haven’t had any holiday yet!! Wah. I’m feeling a distinct mix of awe and fear towards the Masters Program…someone in the know might call it a “numinous” experience…heh heh. Those of you not in the know, mind your own business. I will get my own mailbox in the grad room, and important messages will be placed there for me. Things like, “Hi Grad Student, can we interest you in spending some more of your hard earned money?” or "Hi Grad Student, I am another grad student with nothing really important to say but just wanted to put something in your mailbox in the hopes that someone will put something in my mailbox."

Still working on my thesis topic, and trying to decide what exactly I want to spend the next 2 years studying, researching and writing on. I am apparently interested in everything and nothing at the same time and am a complete freak of nature.

Well, cheers, and here’s to coming in from out of the rain.
(oooh, lots of prepositions…)

VF

The Fat Lady Has Not Sung...

So, where the hell have I been?? If only I could remember the last several months…then I guess I could explain the stolen Rembrandt and small herd of miniature ponies in my apartment. Ah well, a mystery they will remain.

However, I do have a hazy memory of a moving truck, and lots of studying. Well, a moving truck and some studying, to more accurate. Yep, this summer I both moved, and graduated my B.A. with a double major in English and Folklore. I’m off to bigger and, though not exactly better…different things now.

My move was fairly painless. My movers were…how to put this kindly…assholes. They had three guys working, which basically meant that one man could be actually working while the second man smoked and the third acted as look-out. And I even gave these SOB’s popsicles… However, the furniture got moved, my pockets were emptied, and I was alone at last. It’s been a weird thing to be out of our little Folklore House, but infinitely quieter! Anya has packed her bags and moved on to bigger and better things in Ontario, so I’m missing her quite a bit. But I’ll call her frequently, and Leslie and Gillian are still here for a semester or two, so we haven’t completely disbanded.

My new apartment is located right in the downtown area of St. John’s. It seems funny to think that when I first arrived here in 2003 I was in the boonies in Kilbride, and have steadily progressed further and further towards the ocean and the city. I’m thinking that next year I’m going to move into a small underwater dwelling in the harbour, and will eventually, if I continue the trend, find myself in England.

My bachlorette/divorcee pad is a small 2 bedroom. So, I have a fairly regular-sized bedroom, a wee kitchenette, a normal apartment bathroom, a tiny living room, and a nice-sized office. It is the land of various sizes in there. The living-room and office face onto Prescott and it’s great to be able to watch people stumbling up the hill in an assortment of drunken states on the weekends. Sometimes they have to lay down in the street to catch their breath. Awesome. I’m close to Bannerman Park, shopping, about 800 churches-historic or otherwise, and a kick-ass movie store. And for those who know me, I think I had you at “office.” I really love my place and think that it’s going to set me up for an awesome year or two here.

And speaking of which, what the hell am I doing in St. John’s for another parcel of time after I’ve completed my B.A.?? I’m doing my M.A. of course!

Yes, I’ve applied for, and been accepted to, the Masters Program for Folklore here, and am staying to work on my second degree. I haven’t finalized what my thesis will be yet, but I’m desperately hoping to include some subject matter from British Columbia in general, and Vancouver in specific, which would mean I would get to come home to do some research. Regardless though, I’m here for course work and some research and writing. The M.A. program is generally 2 years, or 6 semesters including summers. I’m hopeful that I can complete the writing of my thesis within this time, but often another semester or two is needed to get the work done. Since I really don’t have the time or money for this, I’d like to kick my generally-procrastinating butt into gear and just get it done. Wish me luck.

After the M.A. I’m going to have to make a few decisions. My wish is to go directly into a PhD. Program somewhere, but I’ll definitely have to do this outside Newfoundland, and most likely outside Canada. It’s unhealthy and unwise to do all three degrees at the same spot, but for Folklore programs my options are limited to a few schools in the States (erg) and a few in Europe. I’d love to go to Europe to school, but the education system is different and this may affect my ability to find work in Canada. Then again, I have to get through my M.A. first, so I’ll worry about this later. The PhD. Program is about 4 years at most schools, but again some people take longer to finish their theses.

I’m diligently working at the library, and trying to get everything organized for the fall. Lots of wackiness should ensue with me in the Masters Program, and I’m going to try to update this more often, so stay tuned. The intrepid explorer Venus has not yet left the building!!

Have a great summer, and hopefully see some of you around Christmas!

Oh, and my email is chitotoro@hotmail.com for those who would like to write, and you can also leave comments after entries…